Long distance relationships can be extremely hard. They can get complicated and feel lonely, Being miles apart from your partner is never easy.Whether they’ve gone to uni or moved to a different country, keeping things going in a long-distance relationship (LDR) can be both rewarding and difficult.
Here are some tips on how things could work out.
#. Trust your relationship
This is the golden rule, always. Trust over your partner can help one avoid disagreements, heated conversations, and even separation. Remember – for somebody who has to betray you in any way whatsoever, they would do it irrespective of the distance, which means that distance does not necessarily imply one would cheat, and vice versa. While on one hand, trust can make people feel closest to a person they are farthest from; on the other hand, lack of it can make one feel emotionally detached and distant from somebody despite being located in close proximity to them. By virtue of being in love, taking that leap of faith can do wonders for your long distance relationship!
#. Ground rules to the rescue
For people who are investing in their relationships despite the distance, it is important to create a framework within which both parties would unanimously like their relationship to function. As individuals, we are required to cater to multiple spheres of our lives that demand our attention – our romantic equation being one of them. Setting some ground rules would help one to manage all these spheres better, and reduce or eliminate the space for disappointments, possibility of misunderstandings, as well as the scope of negatives interactions.
#. Play safe with your words
Couples in long distance relationships do not have the option (privilege, rather) to bond by being physically around each other; and so, what we say has a more important role-play in the way our relationship shapes up over time. A prime cause of arguments among couples is disappointment stemming from the inability of either party to meet with the expectations of the other. When this happens, instead of attacking your partner, wait to calm down. Once you are in a better state of mind, let them know of your expectation. Keeping things bottled up inside you may lead to emotional buildup; what matters here is how you say what you say. Avoid accusative statements such as “You can’t even do this for me”, or “I should have known that you will not do this”. Leave gentle reminders about the things that would make you happy, and I bet you would be good to go.
#. Pull Yourself Together
When an argument starts, don’t hang up the phone or sign off Skype. Take a deep breath, and decide if you need to take a break until you feel calm. Sometimes when I’m really upset, I get clouded by my argument, I’ll speak too quickly and say something I can’t take back. And once you let your emotions get the better of you, it’s only going to go downhill. Instead, you and your partner might need to take a break in the middle of a disagreement. Disconnect for up to 20 minutes, and take time to calm down. Close your eyes for a while to figure out what you’re really thinking and feeling.
#. Ask questions, and listen carefully.
Good communication strategies are key when you’re both fired up. Ignoring each other isn’t going to solve anything. Either is yelling, insulting or upsetting your significant other. In my long-distance relationship, we tend to turn arguments into competitions over who is more right and who is more wrong. This never works. Don’t let your conflict be a debate.
Instead, have a discussion. Ask questions that will allow your partner to feel respected and understood. Questions like, “What did you mean by that?” and “Can you explain that more?” help make sure that your partner feels heard. But in order to understand them correctly, you have to listen carefully. Practice repeating back to them what you heard them say. It will prevent misunderstandings in the future.
#. Make virtual dates a reality
Most of the times, the distance factor in a romance is beyond one’s control. However, using ways to connect with one another can certainly boost the intimacy levels that a couple shares. After-all, some creativity never did you any harm, right? Make time for each other by planning virtual dates together. It could involve watching a movie together by enabling the ‘share screen’ option on your laptop, being over video call while taking a walk. It would require effort, yes, but if you love your significant other above all else, wouldn’t it be absolutely worth it?
#. Plan your meetings and the things you would want to do together
One of the exciting, and even rewarding aspects of long distance relationships is planning your next meet together, as well as the activities that you would want to do with your partner upon meeting them. From visiting a place, to playing a sport, to spending quality time at a particular location – engaging in such kind of positive talk with one another will not only create a happy and positive environment around you, but will also help you bond better with your significant other. Receiving closure when it comes to when you would be seeing each other next by planning your time together would make you look forward to it even more.
#. Invest in personalized gifts
By invest I mean putting in one’s efforts, energy, and time. When a couple is unable to see each other in person due to the distance that exists between them, tokens of love can do the trick. The moments in which you miss your significant other are the times where in you can hold on to these gifts. A great gifting method is to come up with personalised products such as: self-made Jar of Happiness, a scrapbook, a frame or pillow-cover with a collage of your romantic moments spent together, etc. Customization is the way to go, because adding a personal touch to a gift makes it all the more special and worthwhile, and would help one feel closer-than-ever to their partner.
#. Engage in some goal-setting
While some are able to efficiently manage their relationships despite being physically away from one another, others may find it to be a painful experience. Either way, it is not something that one could live with forever. As a couple who is determined to spend life together, it is important to evaluate the duration for which your long distance relationship would last, and how would you as a team work around building life that would enable you to be physically close to your significant other in due course of time. When a person is goal-driven, it would make it easier for them to plan things accordingly, and would also strengthen their bonds of love with their partner, since those goals would instill a sense of security within them.
#. Admit you were wrong.
Don’t let your pride get in the way of admitting the role you played in the argument. Explain why you acted the way you did, admit your faults and express your regrets. No one ever wants to be the first person to admit they were wrong, but sometimes saying sorry doesn’t have to mean, “I’m wrong.” It can also mean, “I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”
#. Spend quality time together.
You don‘t need to talk every day. Just make sure the time with each other is well spent. Laugh a lot.
Try to treat the distance as a friend, not an enemy. Be creative, play with the technical possibilities—celebrate occasionally with a dinner on Skype, watch a movie via shared screen, or dance to some good music. Your joy about sharing those day-to-day things may be very high, as you do not take them for granted.
Visit each other as often as you can, and spend time just the way you want. Save up money for visits, split costs, and plan activities you want to do together. This is crucial for you as a couple, and it refuels the batteries.
Even if you see your loved one often, you still need to consciously choose to spend quality time together.
I’ve learned that physical distance does not equal emotional distance, and there is so much to explore. It’s really what you make out of it.
The point is to not deny the hard parts, but also to not feel paralyzed by them.
These are just a few ways to find strength and happiness in a committed long-distance relationship. What’s your biggest love challenge, and how do you overcome it? share with me, i will love to read. Don’t forget to like and share with your love.;) and also like us on facebook for daily updates.