Love and lust are the two most confused concepts in all cultures around the world. And, yet, reams and reams of literature, innumerable works of art and scores of music have been created on these two concepts.
To begin with, while love is mainly spiritual and mental feeling, lust is purely based on a physical need. Unfortunately, this where most young people around the world trip. Confusing a physical feeling of lust as an attraction based on genuine emotion emanating from the heart and soul as love leads many young people to marry in haste and regret later.
Let me try and point out the main differences between love and lust here:
Difference Between Love And Lust
#.Emotions And Feelings
When you are in love, there is affection, commitment, intimacy, and security in your relationship. There is a desire to help and please your partner. You feel happy when you see your partner. Partners talk and resolve relationship problems. You become selfless and you learn to love your best friend – your partner.
While in lust, there is just physical attraction or sexual desire in mind. There is an intense feeling of need and passion. There might never be any mental connection with people when they are lusting.
#.Physical Chemistry And Time
In love, the physical chemistry carries on for a very long period. True love only deepens with the passage of time, and where there is permanent commitment, it stays throughout life. But in lust – it’s short lived or just a temporary phase. It comes on strong and right away. It may dissipate or deepen with the passage of time – depends. Mostly, it lasts only to fulfill desires.
Lust can be called a romantic infatuation, while love binds people and keeps them together even after the infatuation fades.
#.Personal Front And Issues
At the personal front, love is a commitment you make to each other with genuine intention in mind. You think about the other person’s feelings before taking any action. Their issues and problems are of concern to you because you care.
In lust, you only have a mutually pleasurable relationship, which is like having fun for a short time period and moving your different ways. You don’t really bother about each other’s lives and what your partner undergoes.
#.Indicators And Signs
When you are in love, there is confidence, faithfulness and loyalty in you. You make efforts to resolve difference. You are willing to make sacrifices for each other, and you listen to each other’s opinions.
Lust on the other hand is full of intense emotions of desire, passion, and acquisitiveness.
You don’t expect anything when you are in love, it’s unconditional. While lust is conditional and survives only if it gets what it wants.
#.Love Develops Lust Destroys
Without love as the base for a relationship, chances are things aren’t going to last. How many relationships do you know of that have succeeded with lust as the base? Probably not many if any at all. Love develops relationships into something greater, something with a purpose.
Lust only tears down relationships over time. There’s a common phrase for relationships that start to burn out after a month or so–being past the honeymoon stage. Nine times out of ten, those types of relationships are ones built off of the lustful desire for someone rather than love. Once that desire starts to fade, so does the relationship.
This is one sure sign that you’re in lust rather than love. Both parties do not feel committed and most likely have other partners or are still seeing other people. When you don’t feel accountable for your actions and inactions towards your partner, it’s definitely lust. Unless one partner has started to catch strong feelings, there’s hardly the suspicion of cheating because the relationship has no proper foundation and there’s no commitment.
#.No Plans For The Future
It’s only someone you love that you think about moving in together with, getting married to or making a family.
When you never talk about the future or help each other improve or advance. It’s definitely lust.
#.It’s All About The Physical
All you care about is the physical! How hot she looks, how handsome he is. How rich he is and how he/she appeals to you. Remove all the finery and the material things; you’ll realize you don’t love the person.
Love results in, or shall I say it gives you peace, security and a solid partnership. This in turn leads to an ideal atmosphere to raise a happy family with confident kids.
Lust often leads to sexual frustration, emotional rigidity, and unhappiness. However, if there’s lust from both sides, it results in pleasure, passion, and zest for life too.
Here are some signs to watch for to differentiate pure lust from love.
SIGNS OF LUST
- You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body.
- You’re interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
- You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
- You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
- You are lovers, but not friends.
- Your talks are mostly flirtatious and unreal.
SIGNS OF LOVE
- You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
- You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
- You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy.
- He or she motivates you to be a better person.
- You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.
- You learn to trust you partner and give each other freedom.
Having gone through the post, now tell me – love vs lust, what would you choose? Do you feel there is a difference between love and lust? Do you think lust is as important as love? Do you think your relationship is based on love or lust? Share in the comments.